BREAKING NEWS: Cupcakes, Extraordinary?
WILLIAMSBURG – In a stunning departure from the Bride’s well publicized position on dessert choices (Wedding…Pie?), Ms. Broadbent has reversed her standing on wedding cupcakes raising questions on how her dessert policy will be implemented when married with whispers that she may be a “flip-flopper.”
Ms. Broadbent has been quoted in the past saying “I’ve seen wedding cupcakes, but they’re really just cake,” leading many to believe that she had dismissed them as a choice. But in breaking news, we have confirmed that the Broadbent/Beker wedding dessert will in fact be cupcakes!
This is quite a disturbing change and could cause trouble with her guests. NPR’s science correspondent, Jon Hamilton, has reported that “The brain, at a very basic level, really doesn’t particularly like inconsistency.” We must wonder what motivated this change in position? Could it be that she was advised badly in the past, was overcome by overly sugary icing, or is there more to the story?
We spoke with the groom to get his opinion on the matter. Mr. Beker appeared not to be bothered by this stunning change of position. “I know that Tiffany has been a big fan of pie, as am I, but I have always liked cupcakes too, so it’s cool with me if she explores other dessert options.” When pressed further on what this might mean for their marriage he declined to comment.
Our correspondents have recently learned that Ms. Broadbent has been spending time at a so-called “cupcakery” that has located itself in Williamsburg, Extraordinary Cupcakes. There has even been evidence that she has been tasting some of the many flavors available, including Surprising Raspberry Lemon, Uncommon Carrot Cake, and even something called “The Extraordinary”. Our investigators have found that one of the co-owners of Extraordinary Cupcakes, a Mr. Adam Steely, is a known associate of Ms. Broadbent. Mr. Steely is rumored to have provided connections to Ms. Broadbent at various drinking establishments in California.
Polls indicate that there is an increasing interest among the population for cupcakes among the important 25-35 demographic. Martha Stewart, convicted felon and cooking empire ringleader, has even published a book claiming that cupcakes are “perfect for every occasion.”
Sources close to Ms. Broadbent have been unable to provide the exact reasoning behind this change in philosophy, but we are assured that Ms. Broadbent is keeping the culinary best interest of her constituents in mind during this critical matter and fully intends to provide the best possible dessert for her reception.
